The Ladies and Me

I am a man simply in love with the idea of a woman. You see, I have a natural proclivity for growing things. I am nuts about bringing up both plants and animals. A trip to the nursery, or even a stable, is a source of unbridled, spontaneous, and quaking joy to me. Hence, you can well imagine how envious I am of individuals of my own species who are naturally selected to give birth and nurture a human life! 

I grew up pretty much surrounded by girls and women, as fate would have it. Hence, I was always aware in lesser or better degree of the daily, monthly, and situational difficulties they faced. First it was aunts and cousins, then classmates at school and the university, then various colleagues, and then countless students. All through that, there were always my mom and sis at first, then wife and daughter.

Being a man – a very straight one at that, in more ways than one – gives me a natural affinity for the opposite gender. So I am immediately, easily, and openly attracted to attractive individuals of the female kind.

Good looks can grab the eyeballs et al, quite instantaneously. But for any kind of a meaningful encounter, it's the demeanour and attitude of the person in question that truly matter. If she’s too self-obsessed or too entangled in meaningless self-gratification, baubles, or anything superfluous, one immediately loses interest. 

No offense ladies, really. I just like meeting, talking to, and being myself around ladies who are beautiful and kind and intelligent persons. The latter parts are significantly more important than the former, obviously. I also enjoy debating and conversing with ladies who are able to partner in such an exchange. But thereafter, the additional x factor is necessary to sustain interest. I don’t fancy people who judge others on the basis of their own silly assumptions. I do enjoy talking to sensible and sensitive persons, who are often – if not always – female persons. 

I must clarify though, that I don't believe in antagonistic behaviour. I don't enjoy that at all. I tend to expect nothing from any of the ladies I know, except that I should have an opportunity to talk to them once in a while, since quality communication can keep life interesting, and thereby meaningful. It also proffers several other benefits. But the most important thing is that it has the power to make both persons feel in-the-game. As for the natural implications of being a human, you know as well as anyone else that both men and women have a sexual drive. We men have this testosterone thing right since conception that keeps us - well, preoccupied! If we feel horny on seeing one or more of you, that's not meant as an insult to you. It's just that we are naturally wired to feel that way. A person’s gender is never the person’s fault. 

Some of us make a mess of it by handling it all wrong. They typically tend to chase after and annoy you guys, not having been brought up correctly. Of course, the finer ones among us would be turned off the moment it becomes clear that you aren't interested. We, the finer types, don't want our attention to be any kind of a struggle. We want it spontaneous and two-way. Hence, we don’t focus on every Tara, Debbie and Harriet! We attend only to the One. She means the universe to us and we'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe, happy and smiling! 

Occasionally, we also come across a junior who is too sacred and precious for any sexual fantasizing. Her, we only want to protect and help navigate the ups and downs of life. We are often faced with suspicion, and repulsion even, from such objects of our spotless devotion. And we feel extremely distraught and despondent that it should come to such a turn. But we understand that it is only a reflection of the way the world has treated you guys. In different situations and a different context, we know that you'd love us just as much, if not more. 

I am, of course, aware how you must contend on a daily basis with oglers, lechers, teasers, rapists, sadists, dominators, superstitious buffoons, and plain wretches of every conceivable kind. These abominations hail from all kinds of backgrounds too – relatives, neighbours, acquaintances, commoners, celebs, royalty, politicos, medicos, complete strangers, and even your own family. Because your vulnerability, tenderness, and genuine love come across as veritable weakness to these inhuman creatures, they feel emboldened to take undue advantage. 

For all of that, I still feel compelled to sincerely and lovingly request you to never allow any of it to make an iota of a difference to your loving, caring, and warm nature.

You must learn to distinguish between the genuine and the scoundrels, good and bad touch; learn the use of pepper spray and whatever other equipment, apps, weapons, and precautions of your choice; and you must still manage to do full justice to true love wherever it may exist. Most importantly, you must ensure that a genuine lover does not have to endure the treatment you reserve for the carriers of depravity listed above. 

A certain Mr. Joey Tribbiani would tell you that men aren’t nice to women unless it is for the sex. Not true at all. It’s a fine joke from the series Friends, and a good one to laugh at. But it is not necessarily true, I assure you. Kindness is meant to be bestowed upon all who need it and deserve it. 

But I must inform you – if you happen to mess up emotionally, we aren’t likely to give two whits about any of your physical or intellectual endowments. We value only those who treat us fairly and well.

We don’t mind if God is a she. Personally, I’d welcome the prospect. But even She wouldn’t want to mess with us, I promise. She would certainly be sensible enough to never ill-treat real men, who are always respectful, helpful, and kind to Her more graceful and gracious people!

Please understand that if push comes to shove and you happen to shunt us out of your life, we'll go – most reluctantly, because we truly loved you once and all we wanted was to keep caring and giving. Even after we have removed ourselves from your life, we aren't very happy about it. But we let it happen because we don't like to be a nuisance. 

Do remember, however, that we don't like to be at the receiving end of nuisance either. You didn't want to be together? Not even for old times' sake? Alright, then...if that's what you want.

We won't be back. Never. We've had enough. We'll miss you. We'll cry in private, maybe.  But we'll also bear it all stoically. And we'll learn to protect our baby-soft inner person off the experience. 

We'd wish you well and would still be happy for you if we were given to understand that you are doing well. But you won't have any more access to us. That is for certain. 

Because we do still love you very much. 

Adieu and godspeed!